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245: UXM 460 - 461, XMV2 171 - 176 (Wild Kingdom)

What’s Covered?

UXM 460 - 461, XMV2 171 - 176




Roster Watch




Synopsis

UXM 460 - 461: Mojo, X-Babies, Horny Psylocke

Writer - Chris Claremont

Pencils - Tom Raney



Rachel's upset that Psylocke and Colossus are back from the dead, but not her mom. She's kind of got a point, but don't worry, she'll be back soon (I think, I actually have no idea how long it will be before she comes back. This pisses Kitty off.


Wolverine is stalking the team while Betsy is off flirting with every dude with a pulse, sparring with Emma...basically acting wild. I guess that's what Claremont thinks of her.


Yo, Beast is being almost creepy with how he’s flirting with Betsy. What's up with that!?


I forgot that Storm had yet to see Colossus, but she is thrilled when she can. Once again, Claremont is so good at never missing a small opportunity to show how an event would impact others.


Mojo and Spiral show up after TJ and Juggs show up. Fucking X-Babies plot again. I can't stand them! Spiral shrunk them with a Jean bomb, so I guess this is just one of those silly issues. Psylocke wasn’t affected because Claremont thinks she's super cool. Mojo is mad that Psylocke no longer has cameras for eyes. (Nice callback to 1986.)


Mojo unleashes the exile legal team. Juggs is devastated over what happened to Sammy.


XMV2 # 171 - 174: Horny X-Men

Writer - Peter Milligan

Pencils - Salvador Larocca



A new mutant, Foxx, comes to the mansion. Emma puts her on Gambit’s “team.” (Apparently Gambit has a team. Didn't know). Alex wanted her with Bobby to tempt him. Get over it, man! Foxx hits on Gambit right away. Foxx shows up in Gambit’s shower, tempting him.


Rogue and Gambit are in a rough place since Golgatha. Rogue freaks out after seeing Lorna and Bobby be physical. Emma tries to help Rogue and Gambit hook up mentally, but Gambit still gets impacted by Rogue's power. Rogue and Gambit try to have mental sex again, but Foxx shows up in his thoughts.


Bobby was jealous after Polaris mentioned Alex. Alex continues being self conscious and a jealous bitch. Alex‘s badgering Lorna to admit what she saw in space that freaked her out. Alex admits to Lorna that he still loves her. Duh.


Gambit takes his team on a field mission. The boys mutiny because they like Foxx too. Emma uses cerebra to learn that Foxx is hiding something.


Foxx ends up being Mystique. What a bitch! Rogue is her daughter. Claims she wants to join the X-Men, and even after hiding among them and trying to sleep with her daughter's husband, they take her request seriously. They will all vote on it. Sure, makes sense.


The full X team votes to let her stay as a probationary member, but then NC asks her to leave and she does. Onyx (from Gambit’s team) attacks Mystique because he loved Foxx, resulting in her escaping.


XMV2 # 175 - 176, Black Panther # 8 -9: Wild Kingdom

Writer - Peter Milligan/ Reginald Hudlin

Pencils - Salvador Larocca/ David Yardin



A monster killed a reporter in Africa. It was a mutated croc (lame!) A Genoshan scientist (Dr Paine) is experimenting on himself and animals. Black Panther is on the case and when seeing this lineup asks:

“Where are the real X-Men?”

No telepath, no smarties (Beast, Kitty.)


Storm demands to come with on a special trip to Africa. Storm interferes with local genocide shortly after arriving. She saves a woman and child from rapists.


Alex continues being a prick to Lorna. Also, Storm tells Alex not to tell her what to do. Iceman and Havok fighting over who cares more about Lorna.


Storm stays with Black Panther. Apparently he broke her heart once before. She thinks the people need a Goddess, not an X-Man.


Dr Paine captures the rent - a x-men. BP is attacked by 4 armed gorillas and talking Baboons. BP saved by his Dora Milaje, however Storm thinks they are his harem (lol). Calls them his wives in waiting.


A Soviet (Red Ghost) with two smart ape followers are trying to take over Niganda (African country). The doctor fears the Red Ghost and frees the X-Men to fight him. Keeping Lorna captive to force their hand. They promptly catch the Red Ghost. Ha, the Red Ghost pulls out the heart of Dr Paine.


Meanwhile, some of the rogue apes are planning to kill all humans, but they are pretty easily stopped by the X-Men.


Storm decides to stay in Africa, kisses Black Panther!




Characters

Psylocke

She's back. She's sexy. And apparently Claremont thinks she's a giant flirt. Still no explanation for how she returned. Are we really not gonna even try? Here's one" Since I was part of the Crimson tide, my essence was stored away in a magic bottle." See, that's dumb, but it's something. We're not going to even try?


Rogue and Gambit

Man, these two lovebirds. Peter Gilligan has them on the ropes. Gambit is sexually frustrated, but actually being incredibly loyal to Rogue. And what the fuck, Mystique!? That's so messed up.


Iceman, Polaris, and Havok

I am very tired of this. At least Havok is coming right out and saying he's still in love with Lorna. But seriously, where's Nurse Annie? I mean, she wasn't that bad.


Mystique and Nightcrawler

One of the best scenes I've ever seen with them. Nightcrawler isn't on this roster. He barely has any lines, but then he secretly shows up and is like "Mom, you're trouble. I don't want you hanging out with my friends. Please leave."


Havok and Storm

I love that they aren't even trying to pretend like these are co-equal leaders. Milligan is coming right out and making jokes about "Where are the Real X-Men." Havok is deferring to Storm. Pretty fun.


My Rating- 3/10


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